December 8, 2020
Cindy Lopez:
Hi, I’m Cindy Lopez and I’m happy to welcome you to our Voices of Compassion podcast series. First of all, I’d like to introduce you today to our guest, Dr. Jennifer Salomon. Dr. Salomon, or we’ll call her Jen today, is an Occupational Therapist here at CHC. She focuses on individual treatments and assessment for children, teens and young adults. And today she’s sharing her thoughts and expertise regarding mindfulness strategies to help reduce stress. Hi Jen!
Jen Salomon:
Hi Cindy.
Cindy Lopez:
We’re so fortunate that you’re here with us today. So let’s just jump right in, get started. So, Jen, can you talk about stress for a minute and how it impacts us physically?
Jen Salomon:
Yes, definitely. Before I go into that, I first want to clarify that there are different types of stress for everyone, and some of the stress could be helpful and considered positive. For example, situations like a child’s first piano recital or their first day of school. These are all essential experiences for a child to help fully develop their own trajectory of understanding how to navigate these emotional experiences. The idea is that this type of stress is time limited and ideally there’s a teacher, adult, a peer or a positive experience that helps to mitigate some of the negative effects of some of that process. What we really want to consider is the impact of prolonged or chronic stress. So for children and youth, chronic stress has the potential to impact their physical chemistry, their brain development and their risk for physical and or stress related disorders later in life.
Cindy Lopez:
So you talked about time-limited stress and prolonged or chronic stress. So, when you think about what we’re going through today in our world with COVID-19 and here in California it’s been wildfires and evacuations and everything else that’s going on in the world. What kind of stress is this like, are we in this prolonged chronic stress kind of situation? Or is it more time limited? Do you have thoughts about that?
Jen Salomon:
Gosh, that’s a really hard question. It differs right, depending on who we’re talking to. And unfortunately we’re at a pretty early point in knowing the long-term effects that it has on us, but also the children that we’re talking about, right. So for our current circumstances, the global academic, even local changes there’s a huge level of unpredictability there. And so for some kids and teens it is a chronic stressor, just considering the level of unpredictability and the number of changes that we’ve all experienced.
Cindy Lopez:
So, as a parent, knowing that, how do we relate mindfulness? So talk about mindfulness, what’s all the talk about mindfulness and why does it seem so important?
Jen Salomon:
Yeah, that’s a really good question Cindy and I think mindfulness, if we want to put it simply, it’s really just our ability to take a second and recognize what’s going on around us and to identify and validate our own emotional experience. So, I think the trouble again going back to our current circumstances is that there is so much unpredictability in our own environments. So it’s important at this time to introduce and model mindfulness practices, to support our child’s ability to identify and address their emotions, to help their focus and concentration and to just decrease the feeling of overwhelm and unpredictability that they may be experiencing.
Cindy Lopez:
So you talked about mindfulness as that kind of awareness, right? Awareness of our own self as we’re experiencing whatever it is. Thinking about different ages of kids, how does that work for different ages? Like what would mindfulness look like in a younger child, for example?
Jen Salomon:
Yeah, that’s a really good question. So for a younger child there might involve more guidance. The strategies that I’m going to be mentioning today they’re adaptable to different ages, but I think that’s probably the biggest difference in that for younger kids they need a little bit more guidance, right? They need more tangibility to think about, to grab onto so that they can get through that process. Whereas an older kid or a young teen might be able to access some of that stillness without that guidance and that level of support from a parent or a significant caregiver.
Cindy Lopez:
Are there any tips you can suggest for parents that have a child with learning differences? How can we help these kids practice mindfulness?
Jen Salomon:
I think that’s a big question that’s come up a lot in treatment, right, with families and just understanding. Usually the parents will catch them when they’re at their most dysregulated, right, and that’s when they’ll try to implement some of these strategies. I guess the biggest recommendation I would have is to model this and maybe find a time in the day where it’s going to be a routine or a habit that they start to form. So over the week, maybe doing it in the morning and trying, and seeing how that works or before they sit down for any academic work or at the end of the day. And the hope is that as they continue to practice these with their parent in a more regulated state, that they’ll be able to access this when they’re in a more dysregulated or dysfunctional mind-state.
Cindy Lopez:
So as we think about mindfulness and especially how to practice some of those strategies with our kids, our students, can you tell us about one of your favorite strategies that you use with kids? Like, and what age group is this good for?
Jen Salomon:
Yeah. One exercise or strategy that I like to use with my clients is the five senses mindfulness exercise. What’s great about this is that it’s really open for all ages, for a younger kid and for a young teen or an older child, a school aged child. And it’s good for the family too. So it might be a family exercise that is introduced and this exercise, if you don’t mind, I’d like to take a moment to guide us through it [laughs].
Cindy Lopez:
Sure!
Jen Salomon:
So the first part of this exercise is noticing five things that you can see. So looking around you and becoming aware of your environment and picking something that you don’t normally notice.
And the second is to notice four things that you can feel. So this might mean bringing attention to the things you’re internally feeling emotionally or the texture of your clothing, the surface of the table. You’re working on. And the next is to notice three things you can hear. So listen and notice for things in the background you might not normally notice. It can be birds chirping outside or the sound of a motorcycle driving by, or just your refrigerator humming in the other room. Fourth is to notice two things you can smell, and this might be pleasant or unpleasant or just neutral, nothing at all. And finally, one thing you can taste. So taking a sip of water, chewing gum or just noticing the current taste in your mouth. And that’s the five senses exercise.
Cindy Lopez:
So, how might you imagine a parent leading their child through this? Are they sitting down in a room? Could they do it anywhere? Like, how would that work?
Jen Salomon:
Yeah, this could be done anywhere. I think the benefit of the senses is that, right in whatever environment we’re in we are experiencing those senses. It just takes a minute for us to focus in on that. So we might be in the car, right. We might have a parent who’s coming down from a tantrum with their child, and they’re just taking a minute to regulate and just sit in silence. And this is a way for them to bring that awareness from that situation that might be dysregulating to something that’s more neutral and pulling in the environment.
Cindy Lopez:
Once you complete this exercise, how do you kind of stay in that moment? Especially if you’ve just come out of, you know, tantrum with your child or whatever, like how do you stay in that kind of mindfulness moment where you’re feeling a little bit more perhaps relaxed and for lack of a better word centered. Do you have any suggestions for that?
Jen Salomon:
Well it’s hard to say [laughs] some kids might come right back to it, right. But I think maybe just narrating the change that the parent might have seen for their child in that shift of, wow, I noticed you were really upset, but you’re able to go through your senses with me and just change your attention to something different. I noticed that your body is a little bit calmer or just sitting in silence. Sometimes they just need their space and we just need ours. So, there’s really no right or wrong, but the transition piece really depends on who you’re with and I think the parent knows best.
Cindy Lopez:
Okay. Thank you [laughs]. So, how about a couple more strategies? Do you have a couple more up your sleeve that you could share with us?
Jen Salomon:
Yeah. So, one that I like to do with my younger ones is drop the anchor, and this is a physical exercise. And again, this could be anywhere. This could be outside of the car, leaving to go home from school or from the playground. And basically just having the child stand with their feet firmly on the floor about shoulder width apart, and asking them to push down through their feet, feel the ground steady beneath them and tune them in to noticing how their leg muscles feel when they push down through their feet. Or even bringing awareness to different parts of their body. So starting with their head, working down, feeling the weight of gravity, connecting them to the earth. And I think what’s nice about this exercise is that it’s pulled from the idea of progressive muscle relaxation, which can be used with older kids. And it’s something worth considering. But it’s short, it’s sweet. And it just, again, brings that awareness into our senses and for a kid who is more physically dysregulated or needs more physical input at that time, this might be a route to go.
Cindy Lopez:
And do you have another favorite?
Jen Salomon:
The second mindfulness strategy I like to do is drawing, painting or coloring our emotions. And I know that this is a common one, but I think the benefit is sometimes underrated because sometimes it’s really hard for even ourselves to mention or identify what it is we’re feeling. It might be a multitude of things and there might not be words for it in the moment. And so just finding time to sit with your child or allowing them the space to do it on their own and just prompting them beforehand to close their eyes, and just think about what you’re experiencing right now. And for younger kids the adult might want to model what that looks like, right? So giving them ideas of words for emotions, or even just modeling the exercise of drawing, painting, or coloring what they’re feeling, and then having that parent narrate or describe at the end, what their experience was like could be truly beneficial for the kid.
Parents are kids first teachers, right. And they are the lifelong teachers. So, a lot of the learning and the peer learning that might’ve been happening in the classroom isn’t as available anymore, right. We’re all on our screens and so we’re all kind of going through this new transition of when do I carve out time for myself and when is it most appropriate? So, modeling it for the kids is probably the most important because it’s through that action that they’re able to realize like, oh yeah, this is okay for me to take a break. Like this is normal for me to feel a little bit dysregulated and it’s okay for me to take a break and come back and try it again. And that’s probably the biggest, one of the biggest takeaways I would say for parents is to not be afraid. It might feel silly for some of the strategies, right, if we have an older kid or we’re not as used to that piece of modeling, but they will definitely benefit from just seeing, yeah mom needs this more tangible break at this time. And so it’s a huge point for kids to be able to learn that way.
Cindy Lopez:
Wow, that sounds great. I’ve already learned a lot just thinking about, okay, I wonder how I can do these strategies for myself at home. So Jen, I’m curious. What has helped you stay mindful in our new normal. And do you have any best tips for our listeners?
Jen Salomon:
So I would say the first thing that I really found to help me is creating my own morning routine. I think it’s really hard when we’re at home to separate work from home because there is no physical boundary. And so setting that time aside for a morning routine and an evening routine, and also allowing time for hobbies, which is something that is a little bit less explored when we’re adults or it gets forgotten and put on the back burner because there are other priorities that seem more pressing, but really allocating time. And un-interrupt for our own hobby that we are either building or are new too, or is something that we have been curious about? That’s something that’s kind of helped me through this quarantine time and just allowing me to explore what makes me happy because there was less time in the day for us to do that before sheltering in place. So that’s something that I think might really help the parents who are experiencing some of their own stress.
Cindy Lopez:
I think creating a routine can really help us establish some sense of awareness for how we go about our day-to-day lives. I think a lot of our listeners would also like to know, what question do you often get asked by parents?
Jen Salomon:
So I guess the most recurrent question would be, like how do I just get my kid to sit through distance learning for the day, right. The most like practical experience, but it happens day in and day out. And I think if the struggle is there, then that really affects home life, that really affects the family life. And again, going back to that piece of routine and really collaborating with the kids who identify, when are the most trying times throughout the day, when do they need the most physical or just mental breaks. And again, just collaborating with the kid on what would be the most helpful in this time? Does it mean just taking a two-minute break outside and just leaving the computer and allowing themselves the time to regroup and come back? Does it mean having a crunchy snack before they come back to sitting for that piece of academic learning? So, I think the biggest recommendation I’ve made is really just collaborate with your child, right. ‘cause these are opportunities that are totally different from being in the classroom. They’re one-to-one most of the time or if they have siblings around and it could be a family activity. So, whether or not they mention it out loud, they gravitate towards these things. So really picking up on those cues.
Cindy Lopez:
That’s great, thank you, Jen. I resonate with that because I definitely have to get up and go out and take a walk or just go get a bottle of water or something, like I’ve got to get up and take a break. So that really makes a lot of sense. Do you have any last key takeaways for our listeners?
Jen Salomon:
I think one big takeaway is not to be afraid of guessing and testing because there is no right answer around meditation or mindfulness for everyone, right. We all have things that bring us joy and we all have things that help our regulation. So, one thing I would say is not to be afraid of trying that out and not to be afraid of modeling some of these strategies because the hope is that not necessarily that they’ll take these exact strategies and do them from day to day, right. But the hope is that they’ll start to identify when they need their own strategies and start to create their own strategies for themselves in the times that they need it the most.
Cindy Lopez:
Thank you, Jen, for sharing some of your time today with us and some of those strategies. Again, takeaways like the value of mindfulness in terms of understanding or having a sense of yourself and how you’re reacting, how your body’s reacting, both physically and emotionally in a situation is important. And then your kids, probably not younger kids especially don’t recognize that. And so having things you can do, these strategies to help prompt your kids to become more mindful, with eventually being able to even initiate some of those on their own, I mean, you know, stranger things have happened [laughs]. So thank you today. I also really liked that idea of painting your emotions. I love watercolor paint and I love the color. And so just putting down color on a page is therapeutic for me. So thanks so much for sharing today and for being our guest on our podcast. I hope all of you who are listening out there, we’re able to take away a couple of things from this and even practical strategies you can go and try right now with your own child or student.
We hope that you will tune in next week for the next amazing podcast guests we will have with this. Thanks so much, Jen.
Jen Salomon:
Thank you, Cindy.
Cindy Lopez:
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