February 28, 2024
Cindy Lopez:
Adolescence is an important time of self-discovery during which teens often grapple with questions about identity and purpose. They want to understand who they are and their place in the world. And this can bring about profound existential reflection. And in today’s world, our youth can feel like the future is uncertain as they experience rapid societal changes, some economic instability and global challenges like climate change. In addition, they feel the pressure to make life defining choices like what are they going to do beyond high school or start planning for a career? So listen to today’s episode, as we talk with CHC psychologist, Dr. Erin Hoolihan and Dr. Tracy Cavaligos. We’ll talk about how adolescents may find it challenging to navigate a world with unknowns, which can lead to heightened anxiety. You’ll learn how you can develop a greater understanding of how this impacts youth. And how you can effectively support them during this critical developmental period. Let’s start by having you tell us a little bit more about yourselves.
Tracy Cavaligos, PsyD:
Dr. Hoolihan and I are both clinical psychologists, and we specialize in working with adolescents and young adults, so we’re really excited to be here to talk about existential angst today.
Erin Hoolihan, PsyD:
Thank you so much for having us Cindy. We’re excited to be here.
Cindy Lopez:
So as we get started, for everyone listening, let’s define what it is that we’re talking about. So what exactly is this kind of existential angst or anxiety that we’re talking about today?
Erin Hoolihan, PsyD:
Yeah, great question, Cindy. So existential angst is just a feeling of dread that can come across as a sense of hopelessness about the world and our place in the world. An example of this might be a teenager who’s heading off to college and thinking about their future career opportunities and quality of life, and maybe not feeling like there’s a point to their efforts and hard work because maybe the promises they were told about success, such as, you know, you work hard in school, you get a job, you buy a house that may not feel attainable for a variety of reasons, some being factors outside of their control.
Cindy Lopez:
So it’s interesting because it sounds like it is a little bit of a control thing, right? We worry about things that are outside of our control, and it could be all kinds of things from, you know, the war in the Ukraine or Israel and Hamas.So, it’s interesting that out of control piece is a feature of this angst that we’re talking about. How does like the age and developmental stage of youth affect the way that this is experienced?
Tracy Cavaligos, PsyD:
So we’re gonna specifically be talking about adolescents and young adults, those two areas that Dr. Hoolihan and I specialize in. So think about the ages between 12 and 25. This is a super important developmental period in which people are really starting to think about themselves in the context of those larger communities, like we were saying. Before in childhood kind of our whole world is really informed by our immediate environment. This might be like our parents, maybe our coaches, our teachers. It’s that small space because our brain can’t hold all that other information or perspective. So then in adolescence, there’s a lot of really rapid brain development, specifically in that prefrontal cortex, and that’s in charge of like critical thinking, our emotion regulation, all those really big kind of outer world aspects. And you’re going to have an increased ability then to start being aware of other people’s perspectives. So can you put yourself in someone else’s shoes? There’s a growth of empathy, like you really start to feel what other people are feeling and not only have that like egocentric focus on ourselves the way we are when we’re kids, and we’re also building our own identity, you know?
So we’re trying to figure out, where do we fit in the world? What type of stuff do we like? Who do we agree with? What don’t we like? Who don’t we agree with? We’re trying new things, and, you know, we’re supposed to be opening our mind to all these new experiences. You’re also really able to start thinking about the future. So it’s not so much that immediate, what are my needs right now, but you can kind of plan and place yourself outside of that present moment. And all of that is a huge growth point during this developmental period. So with, you know, all of that new awareness, it really makes sense that people are starting to think critically about the world around them, like maybe what’s the status quo and thinking about it in a way that they haven’t before and feeling it on a really deep level too.
Cindy Lopez:
So you mentioned something, youth are starting to think about their future, maybe not starting, but well into thinking about their future. And, we talked about feeling like a lack of control being part of this kind of anxiety, but also this looking into the future and feeling, unsettled about.
Cindy Lopez:
Or uncertain? Is that also a feature of this anxiety that we’re talking about?
Tracy Cavaligos, PsyD:
Yeah, so kind of what Dr. Hoolihan was saying earlier, like that feeling of hopelessness when we’re looking into the future, if we don’t feel hopeful about our world or ourselves and what that life is gonna look like that’s really a lot of that angst coming through. And we’ll talk a little bit more about some of like the pieces of what’s appropriate like what should you be feeling and thinking about? What do we want our teens and young adults to start building in those skills, but also maybe why is it feeling so much heavier these days and some of the extra stressors and like more angst that they’re feeling coming through with that as well.
Cindy Lopez:
So it seems like our youth in this stage too are developing more of like a social consciousness, right? You talked a little bit about empathy and some other things, but this other piece developing this social consciousness, how does what we’re talking about today, this anxiety differ from that typical kind of social consciousness?
Erin Hoolihan, PsyD:
It’s a great question. As Dr. Cavaligos mentioned, there’s a very normative developmental expectation that youth become more involved in the world around them and develop this level of social consciousness, like we want our youth engaging in this level of critical thinking, showing care for the world around them. They’re taking information in in a critical way that is just different and new so very normal and what we want to be seeing. With this level of engagement is expected that there will be feelings of fear or concern about their role in the world, and they may start to recognize parts of the world that they wish were different. And for parents and caregivers, I think a good example of this kind of overwhelm that might be setting in at this developmental period is, you know, I think we can all remember starting a new job. And feeling just so overwhelmed by how much we have to learn, how much we don’t know, how much there is standing between us and feeling like successful or effective at that new job. And that’s totally appropriate and expected. And so we want to sort of think about like youth heading into this developmental point and thinking about themselves and their place in it as very normative. If the feeling starts to feel too big, if it’s happening more times than it’s not, if we’re seeing really significant changes in the youth’s ability to like feel joy or engage in relationships, that’s maybe when we’ve sort of moved beyond this normative, expected level of social consciousness and would maybe be a good time to follow up with a mental health provider.
Cindy Lopez:
Yeah. So that’s interesting. So for our listeners, just, you know, as you’re thinking about your own children or students or whoever you’re engaged with that there is a piece of all this that’s very, as Dr. Cavaligos said, normative. So what you want to be looking for are the kind of signs that it’s becoming bigger. And, so as we think about that, are there specific challenges or pressures unique to our youth today that contribute to this anxiety, these big feelings that are maybe more than normative?
Tracy Cavaligos, PsyD:
Yeah, definitely. So, you know, every generation has their own unique challenges and new experiences. And what’s really unique I think about this one is this is the first generation and we’re talking, you know, millennials down to Gen Alpha that are projected to actually have a lower quality of life than their parents. And this is due to like a whole number of factors. So hold tight with me because I’m going to list a lot. So we’ve got things like climate change, cost of living, wage stagnation, housing prices, inflation, student loans, a pandemic, global conflicts. And like that’s just kind of skimming the top that these kids are dealing with. So we’re also in a time when we have like immediate and constant access to a global flow of information. And that’s never really happened before. So we have social media, 24 hour news cycles, live posting of events. Now, just take a little second to feel what I just listed and the amount of information and stress we just really talked about in a couple of seconds. Maybe check in with yourself, like, are you feeling stressed? Did any feelings of anxiety or upset come up when you thought about all of those different areas and like what it means for yourself and what it means for your children? And know like, that makes sense. All of those things are really overwhelming. So now if we want to put ourselves in the shoes of our teens and our young adults, whose brains and our bodies have not finished developing, and how this may feel even more overwhelming to them, and they have even fewer tools than maybe parents or adults have to process information. It’s going to impact themselves and their worlds. And what does that feel like for them.
Mike:
CHC’s Voices of Compassion podcast is made possible by the generosity of people like you. To learn more about supporting CHC, go to chconline.org/donate. Also make sure to follow us on social media for more inspiring and educational content from CHC.
Cindy Lopez:
Given all of this, and you just talked about, wow, all these things you just mentioned, climate change and housing prices and inflation, like, every time I turn around, something’s going on and it definitely, for me, you know, I’m a typically kind of functioning adult, right, but it does take its toll. So how can parents and caregivers support their youth who are really experiencing this kind of angst, this kind of anxiety?
Erin Hoolihan, PsyD:
I think first and foremost, parents and caregivers can be a safe place for their students to share their concerns and worries. So when your adolescent or young adult comes to you, really try to be open and not deny or downplay the concerns that they’re sharing, and really focus on validating their feelings and their experiences. There’s a chance that this isn’t how you felt at their age. Maybe it is, maybe it isn’t, and that’s okay. It doesn’t mean that one perspective is more right than the other, but we really just want to ensure that caregivers and parents are not denying the reality of their teens and young adults because this validation and this acknowledgement is what’s going to keep that open line of communication.
Additionally, when we’re feeling dread, we can feel really overwhelmed and alone. So building connections and knowing you’re not alone can be really helpful. So we encourage caregivers to lead these conversations with questions instead of trying to find solutions. And this could be as simple as just simply asking your teen when they come home from school how they’re feeling about a major world event that’s recently occurred. Giving teens connections to other people and a purpose can be another way to increase feelings of agency and combat these feelings of hopelessness. So maybe supporting your youth in creating small, achievable goals can be a first step. This can look like a caregiver helping their teen or young adult find a volunteer opportunity that’s aligned with their values or helping them change the world in a way that they want to see as they get older. So getting your teen connected to advocacy spaces or nonprofit organizations could be another way to support them in feeling connected and instilling a sense of hopefulness during this time.
Cindy Lopez:
As parents, I think you so often want to fix things for your child, right? You don’t want your child to have to experience that kind of anxiety or pain or whatever it is. And so you often want to jump in and like, if you just do this, because this is what happened to me, and this is what I did. And if you just do this, so I think the challenge for all of us is just listening, asking the question and giving time and space for your child, your student to respond and even being okay with silence sometimes, like don’t feel like you need to fill the space just because it’s quiet, like give them some time to process and think. And I was not, a child that liked to talk a lot to my parents or process with them. Yeah and there are those kids out there. So, there might be other ways for them to process and finding allies and peers, that they could talk to and also as Dr. Hoolihan just said, like helping them create some manageable goals where they feel like they’re making some forward progress and getting some control back. So, as we think about this, I’m wondering what you both think is the most important message that you want to convey today to our listeners.
Tracy Cavaligos, PsyD:
If there are any teens or young adults listening, we know we talk a lot about parents and caregivers, but to be transparent, this is really hard and overwhelming, and you’re not alone in feeling this level of angst or empathy or dread, so please connect with your community, like Dr. Hoolihan was saying, build those relationships. Reach out to your support systems, especially the ones that feel really consistent with your values, that community care can be a vital lifeline through these feelings and challenges.
Erin Hoolihan, PsyD:
And to our parents and caregivers listening, we acknowledge that these conversations can be really difficult. As Cindy said, like, it would make so much sense to want to go in and solve the problem and support your child in that way. And the reality is that these problems are big and really sitting with them and being supportive and just showing up and providing that space is the most supportive thing you can do for your teens and young adults. We want to validate their experiences and support them in making those values based decisions, right? As we’re talking about, like getting connected to an organization that aligns with the change they want to see in the world, right, like support them in making those small steps and in sitting with some of the discomfort and the just big questions of the world that they’re currently contending with. And then also we always encourage our parents and caregivers to model the behavior that you’re telling your teens and young adults to do, right? So it’s so much more impactful for youth to not only hear the message, but then to see the adults in their lives also behaving in ways that are aligned with that message, like, sure, I could speak for Dr. Cavaligos and myself. When we work with youth who are seeing their parents and caregivers sort of walk the walk and not just talk the talk, it is so much more meaningful and so much more effective in driving youth behavior than just sort of telling them how they should or shouldn’t behave.
Cindy Lopez:
Thank you, Dr. Cavaligos and Dr. Hoolihan for joining us today and sharing some of your expertise and experience with us, your insights. And for our listeners, as long as I’ve done this podcast, we’re in year three now, and talking with all of our specialists at CHC, one of the things that always comes back to me is listen and more often than not, it’s about listening to your child and making space for that. And even what you just talked about modeling, like put your phone down for a minute, you know, all of those kinds of things. So It’s just all really good reminders to us that there’s so much going on in the world. It has changed so much. I want to say it’s changed so much since I was a kid, which was a long time ago and for most parents, that’s true too. What their child is experiencing is far different than what they did. To our listeners, we just want you to know that CHC is here for you. You can reach out to us at chconline.org. You can also contact our care team to find out about making an appointment: careteam@chconline.org, if you want to email and phone number is 650-688-3625. And we have all kinds of specialists and psychologists like Dr. Cavaligos and Dr. Hoolihan, who can help and give you some tools and strategies as you work through these kinds of anxiety issues with your kids. So thank you again, Dr. Cavaligos and Dr. Hoolihan, and thank you to our listeners.
Tracy Cavaligos, PsyD:
Thanks, Cindy.
Erin Hoolihan, PsyD:
Thank you so much for having us.
Cindy Lopez:
Visit us online at podcasts.chconline.org. Make sure to subscribe to Voices of Compassion so you never miss an episode, and we’d love it if you’d leave us a rating and review. Have a question? Send us an email or a voice memo at podcasts@chconline.org. We’re here for you when you need us.
